Mess of No Orgasm

Dear Doctor,
I'm a girl of 20, My problem is that since I started having sex, I have for one day reach an orgasm. If not that I'm a brilliant girl, I wouldn't have known what is orgasm. Please doctor, this is bothering me. What do I do to overcome this mess? So that I can be enjoying the full pleasure of sex when I marry.Thanks for helping me out, God bless u.
Worried Wanda; Jos, Plateau
Dear Worried Wanda,
You need a thorough medical as well as psychological and spiritual check up, my dear.Sometimes the cause of female anorgasmia is unknown but here are a number of issues a good doctor/sexologist will be thinking through with you to properly tackle the issue --
1.Abuse -- sexual abuse history; 2.Alcohol-- does not enhance orgasm; 3.Anxiety/Stress; 4.Anti-Depresants/Other medications; 5.Back-- spinal cord Injury; ; 6.Chronic Illnesses; 7.Boredom-- same techniques; 8.Diabetic Neuropathy; 9.Depression; 10.Dyspareunia; 11.Endocrine-- thyroid dysfunction is a recognized cause;12.Emotional lack of closeness --marital strife; 13.Feelings unresolved from negative sexual experiences like rape/Fear of getting pregnant/Fears --other fears; 14.First sex blues; 15.Gynecological problems/Guilt -- perceived or actual; 16.Hormonal problems; 17.Incest/Image Depreciation -- she does not like herself/Ignorance;18.Joint communication is lacking between the partners; 19.Kegel's muscle weakness -- the pubococcygeus is weak-- this is the internal muscle in the pelvis and around the vagina that is involved in orgasm; 20.Low self esteem in the woman; 21.Miseducation/Male Ignorance of what to do to please/Mood issues/Masturbation? 22.Negative body image for both the female and of her partner by the female; 23.Obstetric --woman has just delivered and has a wound/episiotomy; 24.Premature Ejaculation of the male partner/Pedophilic encounter of the woman when young--encounter with sexual perverts/Pre-occupations --other of the mind during sex; 25.Questions/queries and security issues troubling the woman's mind; 26.Rape /Relationship is awry/Religious inhibitions with sex; 27.Spiritual/Situational/Shame about sex/Stress; 28.Touching that was inappropriate/trauma--injurious experience with sex before/ Tensions; 29.Unresolved issues in relationship/Unknown/Upbringing; 30.Violence of any type with sex --past or present/Vaginismus; 31.Worry 32.Xperience that was not palatable 33.Youth or childhood problems with sex; 31.Z -- Zpiritual husband --orgasms during sexual dreaming but none physically. Like you, a lot of ladies are beginning to get enlightened and are demanding their right to have orgasms. Usually, we first want to start with the man - lack of proper technique is one of the commonest causes. Then we have to check with the woman --is it just situational or physical? Many --most times it is not any of these-- it is psychological --of the mind. As we probe and discover, we diagnose and treat. You can run through the list above as preliminary step to understanding your sexuality as you plan to see a good doctor/psychologist/counselor/sexologist. If you'd like us to help you further -maybe you want to see us-- e mail betterloverz@yahoo.com
Cheers