How To Satisfy Her
Dear Doctor,
I am 43 and a regular reader of your column. I have the embarrassing
problem of Premature Ejaculation. Embarrassing because my 36 year old outspoken
wife and partner complains of my inability to satisfy her; so she's now
unwilling to have fun with me anymore. I fear I may lose her but I love her so
much. Please help me. Thinking about sex now is a nightmare to me.
John Jasper James Alapere, Ketu, Lagos
Dear Jasper,
We've had a barrage of letters like yours asking the same question and
we promised to deal with it ;so here goes: A large number of men have this
complaint of Premature Ejaculation or PRJ which is defined as when a man
finishes sex (has orgasm or ejaculates) before the wife finishes or is
satisfied or has orgasm. While the secondary (or recent origin) type is caused
by an infection--usually of the Prostate--and must be properly treated by a
competent doctor to be cured, the primary type (of long term--began since the
man started having sex) of PRJ is usually psychological and due to inexperience
or over-excitement at the pleasurable sight of a woman. Tackle it this way
1)
Get your wife's co-operation by sitting her down and admitting to her
that you have a problem which she holds the key to helping you solve.
You need
a wife--a committed and understanding only partner not a termagant of a
girl-friend. This, apart from protecting you from AIDS and STD's helps
to
guarantee success. She realizes that there is no alternative to you. You
are in
it together. And you should spend and have time to work together on the
project
of making you the type of man that will easily satisfy her so she and
you both
can be as happy as you deserve to be. Commitment is the key. 2)Tell her
clearly
the problem-- let her see that you do not willingly stop the fun before
she
gets her own satisfaction--No. It is something you cannot control;
something
too big for you to handle something you have had no control over. But
now with
her cooperation, both of you can learn to gain control over it. She must
stop
seeing the problem as just your problem and start seeing it as her
problem
too--its robbing not only you but herself of her fun also!! 3)When a man
fails
to perform on the bed, it affects his self-confidence and subsequent
attempts
at sex carry that psychological overlay or disadvantage -- so she should
not
add petrol to the fire of your dying psyche by unending nagging,
complaints,
snide remarks and deprecatory behaviour either before, during or after
sex; for
this will give you low self-esteem and will guarantee that you never
perform as
you should anymore. Rather, she should turn around and help you (and
herself)
-- nagging hinders performance -- by heightening the man's anxiety.
4)Now listen
to this very important key -- women are naturally slow ; much slower
than men
in getting to the heights of sexual arousal, satisfaction or orgasm. So
start
to work on your woman a long time before sex. Compliments (nice remarks,
praise, appreciation) works wonders on women. No criticism, no trouble
before
going to bed -- this puts her in the right mood to sexually ignite
faster. 5 ) In bed, forget yourself and concentrate on her.Men almost
always do not need any foreplay. But women need it like hell. So spend
very good time arousing your woman as you hold her close, kiss her,
whisper sweet nothings --"I love you"-- touch her and gently stroke her
body -- as she directs you. It's like bringing her up to the sexual
height where you have already climbed...
YOU CAN ACCESS THE REMAINDER OF THIS REPORT, AS A MANUAL, WHEN YOU CALL THE DOCTOR PERSONALLY AND LEARN WHAT YOU NEED TO DO TO GET IT. CALL NOW
Dr. Caleb Bibbi Oluranti, 08033466574; 08028240983; 08093142261; 08156697540
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