ACHING ANUS AND WET DREAMS

Dear Doctor, Good day sir. I have a kind of ache in my anus. It was not there before. I just saw it and if I go to excrete I sometimes feel pain. I don't know what to do. I would be glad to hear from you soon. Dennis Saggei, Warri, Delta Dear Dennis, If you feel this pain principally when you go to stool and you do not bleed, then we can safely assume that perhaps your stools are hard--in other words you get constipation and that it is this constipated, hard stools that are the cause of the aching anus. You must understand that hard stools are the leading cause of a dozen or so conditions that can ache your anus; especially if associated with stooling. Other conditions are a)Cuts in the skin or tissues(we call these fissure-in-ano) of the anus --again; dry hard stools cause this, leading to b)infection and maybe c)a boil or d)an abscess. This may end up as d)a "fistula-in-ano" when the pus from the abscess causes a track in the tissues as it tries to find it's way out. e)Injury to the bum as well as e)Anal sex f)Pile or hemorrhoids especially when they are clotted and g)infected; h)STD's and proctalgia fugax,a self limiting condition common among teenagers as well as i)prolapse of the rectum; common among women who have delivered many babies -- ALL can also cause aching anus. It is only after you have seen a good doctor and he has listened to your full description of the problem, cross examined and physically looked you up can anyone say which of these causes you have. Before you see the doctor, these half a dozen measures will help you tremendously a)Sit on warm water at least twice a day --sitz bath it's called b) Drink lots of water--up to 10 glasses a day--2 each on waking and rising and at each meal; c)Eat a good portion of one of these fruits/vegetables daily so as to get plenty of fibre into your gut which will automatically soften your stool--pawpaw, pineapple, garden eggs, water melon, cucumber, apples and golden melon-- d)Go to stool once nature calls--do not delay until it is unbearable; e)Get lots of exercise; f)-- and I call this "Dr Oluranti's Technical Knock Out"-- use some Vaseline or other lubricant on your finger to lubricate your anal canal before you stool and no matter how hard the stools, they will be easily and greasily slipped out of your system with great relief. Try these and give me feedback Cheers Dr Caleb Bibbi Oluranti WET DREAMS AND MARRIAGE? Dear Doctor, Is it normal for a man who has not known any woman to be having wet- dreams? That is, after having dreamt of seeing a woman (either naked or not) and in the process, through an instinct; his body releases watery substance (sperm). How normal or abnormal is it? When he now want to relate with his wife can this affect the release of sperm having experience wet-dreams before? How true is it that one should meet his wife 15 days after her period? What happens if one does so before or after the completion of 15 days? What method does a man who did not have initial experience with any woman apply when meeting his wife for the first time? Or how does he go about it having no experience with a woman before? Babalo Mauhe, Kogi Dear Babalo, Wet dreams are very common among adolescent(teenage) and young adult males but can happen to any male at any age. They are of two major types--the normal and the abnormal. The first is normal wet dreaming. Again, this normal type has two categories. The first category of normal happens once in a while and is because the system keeps producing millions of sperm cells which are not used up in a male that is not sexually active. Just like a woman menstruates every month when she is not gotten pregnant so also does a man who is not sexually active release an accumulation of sperm cells via wet dreams once in a while. This is a normal thing. The second category of normal is when a man stimulates himself --through over concentration in his mind or with his eyes or thoughts on the opposite sex. This will cause a normal excitement of his system which will result in wet dreams more often than the first category. We can see and understand that this type is psychological. There are two types of abnormal wet dreaming. The first is physical only. It happens because the man has a disease called Chronic Prostatitis.This wet dreaming is frequent and many times, vivid--the man sees himself actually having sex in the dream and releasing semen as a result. Or he may not really have the sex but just be in preparation to. Chronic Prostatitis has other clinical features -- discharge from the prostate without any sexual stimulation; back ache and or other varieties and types of pain in the pelvis--things moving in the organ; painful penis scrotum, testes; groin; pudendum(underneath the genitals), anus etc etc; sexual inadequacy of all types -- especially premature ejaculation that was not present before; frequency of urination and so on. Again, there may be no symptoms or signs at all. It is diagnosed by carefully seeking germs and an appropriate immune reaction in either the urine and/or the semen or the prostatic fluid -- sometimes after the patient has voided urine. Many germs can cause prostatitis -- some of them are E. Coli; Staphylococccus; Candida; trichomoniasis, viruses--among the non-sexually transmitted ones and gonorrhea and chlamydia among the sexually transmitted. The second type of abnormal wet dreaming, I am afraid, is spiritual more than physical. Here, a man has a sexual encounter with a lady and three or four things begin to happen from the time he had the encounter. a) Sexual Inadequacy of various types descend on him-- premature ejaculation, only one round, weak erection and so on. b)He begins to have wet dreams c)In these wet dreams the particular girl or lady he had the index sexual encounter with becomes very prominent--as in he either begins to see her or her cohorts in the dreams more frequently or the location or elements of his encounter with her continue to plague him either in the dreams or in the mind and d) He often also has a Chronic prostatitis --which may or may not have any symptoms. This category of men usually receive treatment for Chronic Prostatitis over and over again but either never get well or never get well fully or get well now but fall ill later(usually after another bout of this their wet dreaming--but he may not know, poor man!!). They may also notice they have dwindling financial fortunes and difficulty making babies and or progress in other ways. The remedy is to see a doctor/urologist who also understands the link between the physical, the mental and the spirirtual and like you can discern from this answer we have helped many folks tackle this very delicate problem before and can confidently say we get total cures for those who strictly follow the treatment regimens which we give them.Chronic Prostatitis, you see, is a very notoriously difficult ailment to treat by any practitioner--doctor, urologist or alternative anywhere in the world. Now can a man with no sexual experience get these problems? Yes. The last type can come on a man even if he had nothing to do with the said girl--all she needs is to pick a strong interest in him --she can--and often does -- meet him in the dreams, remember? As for the psychological type -- of course a man can also have it without sex. The physical and normal type of wet dreaming, we have said occurs mainly in the unmarried or the married who have, in recent times, not been sexually active. Inexperience with sex before marriage is not a bad thing if the man is willing to learn--either from his wife or from books or from experts.Of course the wife, too, may not know too much so we are definitely not advocating that you wait take lectures from your wife. It is very bad if a man will behave like someone I met recently who was suffering from premature ejaculation dating back to since he began having sex--a well to do, educated man who asked me -- what is premature ejaculation? It transpired that he did not know; was guilty of it and all he did during sex with wife or girl-friends was just satisfy himself. He did not know he had to help his partner to reach orgasm during sex!!! We have written a manual that will help you if you are in this category. Just send us an e mail to find out how to get it. In summary, get books to educate yourself so you can be ready for your matrimonial privileges/duties. You'll also learn there is no magic about 15 days after menses to have sex for babies --if you'll reach out and read up on these things, that is. You don't need to turn promiscous--that carries the risk of STD's and HIV/AIDS. Cheers Dr Caleb Bibbi Oluranti

Chest Pain-- Some Root Causes

Dear Doctor, I am a frequent reader of your column, which I find very useful. Please keep up the good work. I have been having this chest pain for a very long time - like four years. I thought it maybe happening only whenever I lift something heavy but nowadays it really affects me with my breathing. I went to the clinic and they told me it was Staphylococcus and they gave me Cyfran with B-complex. I was relieved for 2 weeks, but since the beginning of this week I have been having these pains. So doc, I really need your help. Please reply immediately through my mail, as I do not want this published. Roger Badmus, Ikorodu Dear Roger, Do not worry about your much valued privacy - we change names and cities; but never your question or content of your query. Okay? You see, your description of your problem is too vague: you need to give more details. Because of this it is impossible to help you with any amount of certainty - I really can’t say what is the matter with you However here are some ten causes of Chest pain. 1) Musculo-skeletal pain from poor posture in sitting, sleeping or driving 2) Heart Disease as in Heart attack, 3) Pneumonia 4) Other infections of the lungs like TB 5) Injury or Trauma 6) Peptic Ulcer Disease/Esophagitis 7) Psychological Stress 8)Pleurisy which is inflammation of the inner lining of the lungs - a common cause of pain with breathing like you describe 9) Asthma or other Bronchitis whether severe or mild 10) Smoking - smokers have a greater load of all kinds of aches and pains all over the body; not only in the chest alone. You’ll need to see a doctor face to face to listen to your symptoms, get a proper examination done and order laboratory investigations. Maybe even an X-ray. Only then can anyone pontificate as to your diagnosis. Meantime look for and use the painkillers that are in the market. Staphylococcus? I sincerely don’t think so. Why then did you get well using drugs prescribed for it? Maybe just psychology - we call it the placebo effect where one tends to get better just because of the psychologic re assurance that one has seen the doctor. Or maybe, truly you have a pleurisy, which may very well respond to antibiotics. See a good physician Cheers

Healed of Cancer

Dear Dr, Early last year, by Barium enema Xray studies, sigmoidoscopy, biopsy and histopathology, I was diagnosed with cancer of the sigmoid colon. The MRI scan showed that the tumor was a macro growth of about 1.5cm. The doctors said the placement of the cancer and its likely spread which they believed had already set in neurosurgeon at the Singapore general hospital said that if I had seen him later, the tumor would ha, accounted for my low back pain, difficulty with stooling, increasing inability to walk and general weakness; that it wasn’t a surprise that by the time I was seeing them in hospital, I needed a wheelchair to get around. I was presented with two options; immediate surgery to remove the tumor [the risk of surgery was that besides a 20% failure rate, I could become totally paralyzed and unable ever to walk again, or medication [I was told that would take a long time to work and most patients only experience a shrinkage in the tumor after a year or so]. What the doctors had found out and said about the tumor was devastating news to me and my family. I remember telling myself that if I were to become totally crippled, I would not want to live anymore. It was during this time that my family resolved to come to see you as a medical doctor in your facility and you assured us that with God on our side as we commit the whole thing to God, to trust and rely on him entirely and pray for healing as well as go ahead with taking medication, nutritional supplements and herbs and other complementary treatment. During this time, you also emphasized that what I was thinking – what I used my mind to accept, believe and imagine mattered a lot; quite apart from my taking my medicines and praying as seriously as I could. You warned me to beware of evil thoughts that query God’s goodness to me in which I was constantly plagued with questions like, “does God love me anymore?” “Does he even care?” “Is he punishing me for something wrong I have done? Shouldn’t I just grit my teeth and just accept the situation instead of trying to fight it? It wasn’t too long when your combination of medicine for body, mind and spirit began to work its wonders. Within a month, the tumour shrank to half its size and I began to walk again. You were not impressed but told me we must go on until we totally uprooted the evil from my domain—body soul and spirit. You and your workers were relentless in your prayers, encouragement and treatment with the combination of complementary medicine you gave me. Significantly, you were always most interested in the content of my dreams—as you said something I feel is total genius – that my dreams are “spiritual laboratory”—just like when you have to do medical laboratory and investigations to “manage a case properly” were your words. My confidence and encouragement grew as I gained strength by the day—your total confidence in the efficacy of your methods, you see, could not but positively infect the most depressive skeptic. By 7 weeks (which you had promised), all my tests were negative –the tumour was nowhere to be found; it was totally and completely gone and I was fully restored to perfect health. Now 3 months later, I am writing to inform you that the last and most important part of the picture has fallen in place—my wife has confessed in church (privately to the ministers during a powerful revival service when the preacher insisted on pain of death that only a confession could save her) that she was in an adulterous relationship where she was aware that the man had worked tirelessly by spiritual means to get rid of me so as to marry her!!! You will remember that my dreams at the material time kept showing a close female relative coming to visit me with a male friend of hers (both of whom I never recognized) to shoot me with a gun. I have since forgiven her. I am most thankful to you and your cocksure confidence that “cancer is not incurable—all we need is courage, conviction and confidence in God who created all things”. Once again, I want to thank you and pray for God to really enlarge your coast. God bless you and thanks once again. Labaz Dakota, Alaba Lagos Dear Labaz, Well,in Orthodox medicine, we never really talk of healing with cancer; we talk only of 5year survival rates. In your case with colon cancer at stage IV, we are talking of a mere 6% survival rate at 5years; 95% would have died in 5 years. That means we are so used to cancer being impossible to heal that we never believe any good news until after the person is still alive after 5 years—because almost all are dead by then, you see. However, in your case the growth, the pain and the bane are all clean gone –what else? All the tests show that you are HEALED! CONGRATS! And with your decision to forgive, I see you really living long .That your cancer? Let’s just give all the glory to God and let’s all learn that even cancer has natural remedies that work. And I mean any type of cancer. So if you or a relative have issues with cancer, just call the help-lines NOW. Cheers

Confused -- Pregnant or Prancing?

Dear Doctor, I feel at home the way you answer people's questions and decided to write you a personal one. I am a 32 year old man married for two years now with no issue to show for it. Our problem now is that of confusion. When my wife and I decided to really start a search for a child, we went for various tests which showed that my wife was alright but with slight fibroid, which the doctors said would not hinder her from conceiving. I was found to have a low sperm count problem and was placed on treatment. This greatly improved to up to 74 million, and was given a clean bill of health as able to impregnate my wife. My wife took in twice and it all went out after the first month. We continued until we decided to try herbs to fight the fibroid. The herb woman told my wife the very first time, that she was one month pregnant. We rejoiced and started thinking of our baby. However lately, she went to hospital for scan after three months, and was told that there was no child in her womb. Meanwhile, her tummy is protruding, breasts enlarging; she feels very heavy, experiences sleepiness and drowsiness in the early mornings, and once or twice has almost thrown up in the morning. The problem is that with all these signs, is it possible that she is not pregnant? And if not, what could be growing in her tummy, since it is not fibroid? Please, advice us before we do something stupid. Please, do reply through this mail address while sharing same in the papers for those facing the same kind of confusion. Thanks again for your interest. Yours truly, David Emeka Dear Emeka, Let me first of all commend your public spiritedness that is willing to let others benefit from your experiences. This attitude of wanting to give to others always pays in the long run. It is also godly, having originated with Christ who said, "Give and it shall be given unto you, good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over shall men give into your bosom; for with what measure ye give shall it be given back unto you". In medical science, your wife is not pregnant but has a condition called Pseudocyesis or false pregnancy which manifests in women who are too anxious to have babies (which is the funny thing about this diagnosis) although it can also occur in women who are too anxious not to have a pregnancy. The important issue is the over anxiety or what we, in psychological medicine, call an anxiety state that is the underlying problem manifesting in bodily symptoms of pregnancy that truly cannot be physically demonstrated by any medical or non medical means. What the medical doctor will usually do is tell the woman she is not pregnant and get her to accept this. The condition resolves after that. The woman's body system comes back to normal. And she now continues to look to God for another pregnancy. Now --and this is the very interesting part-- some health practitioners --- some orthodox, some traditional, others religious --- who solve problems with an understanding of the spiritual basis of human troubles may tell a woman like your wife not to lose heart -- that she is pregnant! They will then go ahead to treat her and, if the appropriate treatment can be followed, can reverse the case to normal-- so that the baby can now be seen by ultrasound, X rays, physical examination etc, and what is more, the woman can now continues her pregnancy normally until delivery and delivers a normal baby in every way. These spiritual practitioners insist the baby was all the time present with the woman but that certain negative forces were responsible for wanting to hide, steal, oppress or kidnap the pregnancy with the possibility of permanent loss or disappearance of the pregnancy if care is not taken! If you ask me what do I believe or what would I tell my patient, I will reply -- "It depends on the patient's belief and her state of mind." If she were the type that has no belief in such things and is more comfortable with a mind-set that denies the spiritual, I would just tell her she has no problem -- that she is not pregnant but has a pseudocyesis – false pregnancy; that's all. If, on the other hand, she can believe or does believe -- then, I tell you nothing is impossible to them that believe!! I would start by impressing her that I really know about these things, having written a book titled "Destroying the Strongholds of Witchcraft and other Human Agents of Satan". I would share with her stories of such cases we have handled in the past. I would admit her and begin to investigate her along the lines of an unstable pregnancy (maybe with lower than normal hormones) while I mount a very strong, severe and strident counter-offensive or attack in the spirit realm through prayers with fasting, deliverance and appropriate intensive follow-up to retrieve, retain, and preserve the pregnancy and make it stable till delivery. Then we shall "Praise the Lord" or "Alhamdulilahi" as the case may be and as we have done, many times before. Cheers

ASTHMA, FRANOL AND ME

Dear Doctor, Good day. I am an asthma sufferer and there are some things I will like to ask you which always bother me as they have to do with my health. Sir, any night that passes by, it's difficult for me not to use FRANOL,because if don't, I'll rather sleep a sleepless night. So sir I want to know if there is any remedy for any asthmastic patient to live without using the drug Franol. More so sir, which one of these drugs is preferrable -- FRANOL or FARENOL? Rahman Adanlagba, Okeho, Oyo Dear Rahman, Asthma is such a very bad disease and cause of very serious suffering that it is a great mercy that you can even find something that will remedy it for you so you can be spared those sleepless nights you talk about.If I were you, I'd first of all thank God for the special grace that has provided Franol in the first place. Suppose there was nothing that could give you relief? An asthmatic attack, you must know better than others, is a larger than life study in torment and dehumanisation. And there are attacks of ashtma that will go on for days on end without anything being able to remedy it. We call this category Status Asthmaticus. So, let's be appreciative. Having said that, what you need to do is see a doctor/ internist--doctor specialising in medicine who will listen attentively to you; nexamine you and your complaints and recommend the best way/regime/method to curb and control your attacks. They'll very likely,introduce you to other forms of treatment such as the inhaler, steroids and salbutamol a beta agonist. Inhalers are a very great and effective way of both preventing and treating attacks of asthma and the latest technology is to combine a steroid and a beta agonist in an inhaler--its reputed to almost work wonders.Franol or Farenol? Look closely at the small print-- the stuff written on the packaging of the drug in smaller letters than the name of the drug. You'll, very likely, find out that the drugs Franol and Farenol mean exactly the same thing because --as the small print will prove, they contain the very same ingredients -- Ephedrine and Aminophylline. Cheers Dr Caleb Bibbi Oluranti

Rashes, Itching, Fast Ejaculation

Good Evening Doc, I am 20yrs of age and I had a small rash d@ made a portion of my penis cap to look lighter in colour) 4yrs ago and it has been increasing around my penis cap till now. I also ejaculate (very little though) sometime while stooling and still have wet dreams. My penis cap has become so sensitive that I don’t last long while having sex before I ejaculate. @times I have little swells in form of boils on my pubic hair area and with time, they disappear again. Whenever I scratch on them, it always feels good though. Doctor please what can I do! I am so shy 2even go 2 a hospital. Please help me Loko Dandy, Damaturu Dear Loko, Here are half a dozen ailments that you have – first you’ve got Candidiasis of the groin – that’s the cause of your sweet itch causing you to feel good whenever you scratch on them. Your genital boils are another diagnosis—the sweat glands and hair follicles are getting superficial infections – anyone who is sexually active and has any boil in the genital should see a doctor quickly. Best doctor to see? A dermatologist/venereologist. Especially as you seem to be getting a vitiliginous rash on you penis—no one can help with that except a good doctor/skin specialist who can properly evaluate it. Vitiligo is a strange skin condition that makes parts of the skin turn pink at random. It is treatable. Ejaculating while stooling, frequent wet dreams and premature (too fast) ejaculation aren’t due to oversensitivity of your penile cap; no. It is plain old Chronic Prostatitis; simple. Your shyness, denying you health help, at 20 and already sexually exposed is another diagnosis by itself—it is unnatural; I’d say you have a neurosis . Finally, I wouldn’t be surprised if you had any number of other STD’s including HIV. Because they never move around singly but in packs. Have you been tested? If not hurry along; it’s always better to know your status at any one time. Cheers

Scrotal Pain Without Swelling

Dear Doctor, I give glory and praise to God of heaven who has lifted you up. I pray he will never let you down. .In fact I can't imagine how I feel happy as I see you tackling people's problems and I know that it may be the best way to kick off some related ailment like this nagging scrotal pain out of my system. I'm a boy of 24 years old a student, with these nagging problems. I don't know how it came over me. I've not had sex with anybody. I'm still wondering how it all came about. Just one fateful night I started having uncontrollable pain in my scrotum which later stopped and days later I noticed that I 'm having quick ejaculation for which I consulted a doctor who diagnosed and refused to let me know what was actually wrong with me; although I know myself that something is wrong. I approached him he asked me not to worry. A year later, this pain has persisted. I went to other hospitals -- even to herbalists -- all to no avail; but I noticed that I had no more quick ejaculation. And I began to urinate frequently than usual. Each hospital I go they always ask if the testicle is swollen; but it is not so. Right now doctor, I really need your assistance. Tell me the cause of this ailment and if there is any medication for it?. Please I need help. I'm down. I'm about to gain admission to university. I don't want to go to school with worries -- you know what it takes to go with sorrow to school. Thanks Lagos State. Please I do not need my name to appear in news paper My dear 24 year old student, Let me congratulate you that you still have an intact, non reducing testicle. The fact that there has been no swelling means there has been no reduction in size; since all those questionings and queries you went through in the hospitals would have prompted repeated examinations of your testicle. You see, sudden scrotal pain like you describe can be caused by about 4 or 5 things. The first and most dangerous is Acute torsion of the testis. Unless surgery is done for torsion as soon as possible the likelihood is that the testicle concerned begins to die off--from the torsion which simply means "twisted blood vessels cutting off the blood supply to said testicle". Of course the testicle subsequently dies off-- dwindling gradually in size until it is totally reabsorbed into the body and you cannot feel it again because it has simply disappeared.. The second condition that causes this kind of complaint is an Acute Orchitis. Orchitis means the inflammation of the testicle. This needs no surgery but can be as painful as the first condition. An orchitis is likely more than any of the other conditions to cause a swelling of the testicle. The third and the fourth--Acute or even Chronic Prostatitis and/or Vesiculitis can affect your ejaculation and urination and so are the more likely causes of your own particular condition. All half dozen or so of these conditions can catch anyone --whether they had sex or not. All of them can adversely affect your fertility so you are warned to go look for a urologist/experienced doctor to sort you out today. You simply, at 24, cannot afford any negative affectation of either your fertility or ability.

I Almost Committed Suicide

Dear Dr, Last week i got a knife to cut something i saw in the papers when it suddenly downed on me that the knife i held was a beautiful solution to all my problems. I held it and caressed it long and hard. I ran my finger along the blade and i felt my heart beating fast. I was excited but my joy fled when i thought of what i'd tell my creator if i wasted this life for which Christ has died. I will be 22 next month(God willing) but i have nothing to look forward to.I finished secondary school when i was 15 and got my first admission shortly after i turned 16 and since then i have known no peace. The first time i went to school i was screened out because my o levels were not complete. I failed some basic subjects and some were withheld.I didn't care much because i was young and thought i could afford to lose a year.The next year same thing happened this time the problem was my results coming in late. Then another time when i got a place my uncle said i should join him abroad and continue my school.So i forfeited my admission.If i give you the details it would take all day.I have been prayed for.I have fasted to no man's business.I wrote the present jamb and got 274 points but the school i chose finished their screening and i didn't know about it.As i write to you now, i have been offered various courses ranging from physics,pharmacy,botany,computer science and info tech,travel and tourism and all these things passed me by while i stood and wept.admission season became crying season.I have been through hell and to think i am a girl. most of my friends have finished their first degrees and are planning to get married.This thing has affected all areas of my life.How can i serve God if i keep thinking He is far from me?.when will i finish school and settle down?How can i even love someone when i see myself now as a no good?Won't this push me to accept someone i might not have considered because of my low self esteem. I am a very ambitious person and i have strong dreams but how can i counter what i cannot even comprehend. if you must publish this.change the details because everybody will know i am the one. I am now known by this problem. Yours sincerely ZNL, Alaba, Lagos Dear ZNI, Suicide will lead anyone to a hell worse than anything they can ever imagine -- for forever. So, thank God you never tried it. Hey-- that -- there's really the simplest solution to problems like this? You say what is it? Okay, before I unveil it, let me tell you how potent it is. Many years ago, a certain student found he had slept off and never wrote his admission exams -- he never knew what happened --just woke up as the invigilator was collecting the scripts and handed over a totally blank paper. He applied what I'll teach you -- and got admitted -- with scholarship. Yes -- its a dire situation-- very likely "e get as e be", but --yes, you are correct -- the solution is in the God of goodness -- you only need to understand a few things. So, call me -- the helplines are active. I want to promise we'll solve this problem and you will actually more than counter what you cannot even comprehend-- as you say; okay? The health angle? Do not commit suicide. That's just a sign that you are depressed and depression is bad-- yes but treatable with medicines and counseling, okay? There is hope -- don't give up.

Is It Normal?

Q.Please sir,is it normal for one to have an erection when thinking about a woman? A.More than normal, my dear; more than normal. Expected, correct, physiological and accurate.It's normal ordinary sexuality-- male sees or thinks of female and gets aroused--very normal. In fact, its abnormal not to; abnormal and needing investigation, diagnosis and treatment. Cheers

Is He Mr. Right?

I really cannot find the source of what is below but am happy to spread the message Think your Mr. Next has the potential to be Mr. Right? Before you leap without looking, take an honest inventory. See how many of the following five essential traits he possesses. Dating Trait #1: He listens to you The best way to know if Mr. Next is interested in (and worthyof) being a candidate for Mr. Right? He listens to you. You'll know he's listening when he shows genuine concern, consistently remembers things you've told him (your birthday, favorite food, best friend's name, etc.), and offers emotional support in honest and thoughtful ways. Dating Trait #2: He connects with you easily We've all been in those relationships that take W-O-R-K (and suck the life force out of us in the process). When a relationship works on its own, it feels effortless, easy, and fluid. You don't have to force anything, forgive anyone, or turn a blind eye to red flags or gut-twisters. Instead, you communicate and collaborate with comfort, compatibility, and undeniable chemistry. If and when you experience this kind of interaction, you are on to something really special. Dating Trait #3: He wants the real you So often, women feel the need to sacrifice some part of themselves to make a relationship work. In the right relationship, there's no need. You don't have to hide, tone down, or apologize for any aspect of you or your fabulous life. With the right partner, you're not only able to be yourself, but you're better able to be the best version of your most authentic self -- no compromises needed. Dating Trait #4: He's trustworthy A relationship without trust is doomed from the start. A relationship without trust is doomed from the start. But a relationship with abundant trust? A fabulous foundation for real and lasting love! Built over time, trust is based on the simple belief system that your partner has your best interests at heart and will never intentionally hurt you (and vice versa). If and when you discover that Mr. Next is 100 percent trustworthy, you'll have no trouble giving your heart to him. In return, he'll most likely give you his heart and pave the way for a lasting, loving relationship to unfold. Dating Trait #5: He enriches your life In the wrong relationship, your partner tears you to emotional shreds, brings you down, and in general drains your energy. In the right relationship, he enriches your life, inspires you to be your best self, and brings a sense of peace and possibility to you. You'll know Mr. Next is enriching your life if and when he encourages and supports you professionally, personally, and spiritually. And when he does, he may just be Mr. Right! Does your Mr. Next possess all five qualities? If so, congratulations! You have done your homework, chosen wisely, and are now well positioned for relationship success. If not, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back into the dating pool with a clearer understanding of who you want to date. Remember, finding your life partner isn't always easy, but by being clear, honoring yourself, and acting accordingly, you'll cut down on wasted time with Mr. Wrong and Mr. Next, and ultimately make room for Mr. Right.

My Many Miscarriages

Good day doctor, My names are Really Frustrated, 29 years old, married, and a resident of Port Harcourt. I thank God for using you for the help of mankind. I read your question and answer sessions every Tuesday and I know you will be a blessing to me. I got married precisely 25th Feb. 2010 and in July I took in but on the 15th of August that same year I started bleeding. I was placed on primolut for 4 weeks weekly, but on Sept. 15th, a few weeks later, I lost the pregnancy. I resigned as a banker because I was told it was stressful and I joined my husband. A few months later, I took in. By the 5th week, I started bleeding again. I was rushed to the clinic and placed on bed rest and later discharged with a weekly injection of primolut to be taken until it gets to 12 weeks. I took the injection religiously, but on the 19th week I went to urinate and the water wouldn’t stop pouring. I was told the amniotic sac is broken and am not due yet. The gynaecologist told me I had to be cleaned up to avoid infection. Doctor Bibbi, I cried seriously and nearly had a heart attack, but thank God for His Word. Now I am pregnant again and I need your advice because it is at its early stage and I don’t want to take any risk. Please, this is my ordeal; advice me. This is my mail box; you can reply me through it. Thank you. I will be waiting to read from you. Really Frustrated, Port Harcourt Dear Really Frustated, There are physical causes of repeated or habitual (three- in a row) miscarriage; for example, incompetent cervix. There is a professional way to deal with that, and you will need to be checked and examined properly to see you do not have such a condition. There are also psychological/social reasons -- repeated husband battering (God forbid!) is one. Spiritual reasons, though, often neglected; are usually very much involved, too and, in your case would be my serious and important consideration if I were to handle your case. Of course, I would probe and treat all three areas but would evince a high index of suspicion for spiritually inflicted habitual abortion or miscarriage. I’d like to know, for example -- do you have sex in the dreams for example? Do you see red stuff in the dreams? Do you have babies in the dreams? Seeing animals like cats, dogs and cows; eating in the dreams; fighting; being pursued or attacked – all of these are positive contributors to what I refer to as negative outcome of pregnancy. Call the help lines now and /or send e mail to doctorbibbi@yahoo.co.uk. There is help for you -- but hurry -- before this new pregnancy is aborted once again. I pray for you. Cheers